I'm sorry

I am trying hard not to give up. I am lost, in that sense that I am in transition with no clear way out. Part of me is sad that I choose to be controlled by money instead of my resolutions. Part of me is excited to be a financially stable adult. But that is in the makings.

And so I feel like I am shambling through my days hoping for something that may never be.

This makes me such a useless friend. Or just a bad one. It would be easiest to disappear without anyone realizing I had gone. But maybe I am too old to entertain these thoughts.

I'm sorry that I feel, or that I don't, or that I can't be the best me to you.

Or maybe I'm not, I don't know.

What am I apologizing for? I warned you all.